Regret: Everybody's Favorite Thanksgiving Side Dish

Hello, and happy early Thanksgiving to you! This is an unusual blog entry for a few reasons. For one thing, I am typing right now with a bag of frozen cranberries on my head. What? Why? Both good questions. Yes, it is true. I do have a bag of frozen cranberries atop my head. No, not because I am a die hard fan of lame Thanksgiving side dishes, and not because I don't have air conditioning on this unseasonably warm day before Thanksgiving in Los Angeles. No, dear reader, I have a bag of frozen cranberries resting on my head for an entirely different reason.

A few minutes ago, whilst putting a compact rolling duffel bag into the upper regions of my closet after our trip to Denver this past weekend, I stepped up, up, up the step ladder... and cracked my head on the bottom of the door frame. Yes, 'twas painful. Yes, my cat watched as I cursed once, stepped down from the ladder, and proceeded to lay myself on the floor and wait to pass out. No, Whisky (my cat) did not call for help. And yes, she's still watching me as I type this, in awe of my ways.

This has happened before, by the way; my hitting my head on the door frame while ascending the step ladder to put a bag away. So, in addition to being mad at myself for allowing it to happen again, it made me wonder: do we ever learn from our mistakes? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think the simple answer is... yes and no.

One thing I've gotten better at as I've grown older and slightly wiser is saying to myself, "Well, X might not happen if I do Y, but it definitely won't happen if I do Z." It sounds simple, but it took me many years to learn this. Earlier today I said/thought to myself: "I probably won't electrocute myself or chop off my fingers if I don't unplug the immersion blender before cleaning it, but I definitely won't electrocute myself or chop off my fingers if I do unplug it." And yet later that same day, the step ladder incident occurred.

In case you're wondering, "why frozen cranberries?" Well, I should tell you that I have used this same bag of frozen cranberries many times before to ice my wounds. There's no special reason why I use this particular bag, I simply don't have an actual ice pack, and I never have occasion to use them for their intended purpose (consumption). Also, it works better than a bag of ice because it doesn't get all melty and drippy, and the cranberries mold to my head. Unlike, say, frozen peas, frozen cranberries do not clump together. And using frozen asparagus would just be silly.

Another reason why this blog entry is unusual is because I am putting very little effort into it. It's mostly stream of consciousness, which is kind of fun more me. [Typo there, speaking of stream of consciousness, but I like it so I'm leaving it.] Maybe it's because of the blunt trauma inflicted upon my skull in recent minutes, but I am not going to write and revise and revise and revise as I usually do. No, today I am simply going to write it, proof it, and publish it.

And having said that, I'll conclude with a hope that in the future I'll say, "I might not hit my head on the doorjamb if I step up the ladder without thinking about it, but I definitely won't hit my head if I don't put the luggage away."

Happy Thanksgiving! And this just happened: My wife Sarah came home and said, "Are you eating cranberries?" No, dear, I am not. You married a lovable dummy who may or may not ever learn from his mistakes. Oh, and happy birthday!

Please note the offending doorjamb in the background.