1) I reported to the concierge desk at the Grove that they should install male/female icons outside their restrooms to assist patrons who do not read English. The Grove receives more annual visitors than Disney Land - google it if you must - and it's safe to assume that many of them do not speak English, much less read it. The idea came to me when I saw a confused old Asian man - a tourist, I presume - standing directly in between the signs that read in a classy cursive, "Ladies" and "Gentlemen." He followed me when I passed him on my way into the mens' room, confirming my suspicion (I'm kind of a lame Sherlock Holmes) that he didn't know which way to go on account of a lack of iconography. (Speaking of iconography, I learned how to insert images!)
2) After delivering my bathroom sign request at the Grove concierge desk, I also put in yet another followup request to have a traffic light installed at the intersection where cars pass through the promenade. A-hole LA drivers* (see my post about why LA drivers are A-holes) love to squeeze through pedestrians and nearly kill them. This happens to me almost every time I go to the Grove, which is usually a few times a week (because I often work out of the adjacent Farmers Market).
3) When I got home, I called the Department of Transportation to report some major potholes in my neighborhood. I hate potholes, and every once in a while I call to report them. Once reported, they usually get filled in short order, especially if you tell them you damaged your car (I learned this extra tidbit from a friend awhile back).4) I also called Traffic Control to request having a speed bump installed (or whatever it's called) on my street. We live on a residential block that has a traffic light on one end, so A-hole LA drivers always race down the street to make the light, and also because they're A-holes. I often yell "slow down, D-bag!" at cars that drive too fast. I also once threw a water bottle at a car that ran through a stop sign and kept speeding along. (I also truly hate when cars don't stop at stop signs.) Admittedly, I realized as soon as I threw the bottle that it was not a smart way to handle the situation, and I also realized that my concern for others' safety may have revealed hidden anger issues inside of me...
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| When I Googled "slow down sign" this is one of the images that popped up, so, here you go. |
5) I then placed a call to the sanitation department to request having trash cans installed in my neighborhood along West 3rd Street, between Fairfax Ave and La Cienega. This is about a one mile stretch of road in the heart of what's known as Beverly Grove, a bustling commercial area with many useless, high-end knickknack shops, charming cafes, and places that do exotic waxing. I walk this road most days on my way to and from the Grove/Farmers Market. Anyway, there are literally no trash cans near bus stops or anywhere else along the way, and people in LA are only too happy to leave their Starbucks cups or whatever else wherever the hell they want. It may come as no surprise to you that I really hate litter. I pick up a few pieces of trash off the street almost every single day, usually on my walk to/from the gym in the morning. On one hand it makes me happy to do something good for the earth, but on the other hand it makes me hate my fellow humans. I still don't know what's better in the long run for my overall well-being.
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| This song just popped in my head |
All I know is, in addition to the above, I have also on more than one occasion yelled out my window, "Cut out that racket!" and also called the police on the loud punks across the street for blasting their crappy music after midnight (that's right, I call them "punks" because that's what they are). I have also thrown a tin can onto the second story balcony of a neighbor who would throw many cigarette butts into the alley with a note saying, "Please use this can for your cigarette butts instead of throwing them in the alley." I have also placed little flags next to piles of dog poop that people have left on my lawn that said, "Thanks for the gift, neighbor!" in addition to many other signs requesting that people be decent human beings and considerate neighbors by cleaning up after their damn dogs. I do love dogs, but I must confess that I hate many, many dog owners.
I do all these things, dear reader, and more in what I consider an effort to make our world a better place. They say "don't sweat the small stuff," which makes good sense, but I also think the small stuff is important! Please believe me when I say that I am not boasting here about my good deeds, if you can call them that. If anything I am embarrassed about most of this, and also concerned for myself for having severe procrastination issues, not to mention possible issues with unaddressed anger, which we can explore some other time...
Okay, I have to get back to work (or start), so this is where I'll leave you for today. But before I do, you may like to know that I cannot have a speed hump installed on my street because "the program" was scrapped from the city's budget in 2009. That's right, as of 2009 speed bumps cannot be installed in Los Angeles. I am considering buying a megaphone, a la Modern Family's Claire Dunphy.
Thanks for reading this longer than usual postella. Please share - or pick up some litter - if you think doing so might somehow make the world a better place. Until next time... slow the F down!
You would fit in perfectly here in Florida among the condo commandos. I too, have left flags near shit piles in my neighborhood (it's in my collection of FB pictures) and my favorite is "Don't be a S#*&%Y neighbor!" It was my attempt to start a neighborhood campaign. Robert has been known (only between us) to scoop and return to sender. You are a good-deed-dooer and if that's what you accomplish before 11am, I'd say that's pretty accomplished.
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